The beauty of brokeness. . .
Today, I realized something about myself, that the depression I’ve dealt with for much of my life is more than just an affliction from the devil. I believe that every affliction of the enemy is in exact correlation to and in exact opposition to a gift God has given us.
You see, I am at heart an evangelist, I find no greater joy than when people finally see their own need for Jesus Christ in their lives. I love to hear people’s stories and help them reach the pivotal time when they decide to make the biggest decision they will ever make. I love impacting people.
Lately, though, I’ve felt rather forlorn. Hope has seemed scarce, especially when facing the battle with migraines that I’ve been waging recently. I realize I’m a bit of a classic melancholic, but this has pushed me back to the edge of depression, and today was no exception. I felt pretty horrible as a start, but after much medication and prayer I’ve been kind of productive today. I decided to get my oil changed and stroll through my local Wal Mart while I waited. I had my Ipod playing some of my favorite music when a song came on that always wrenches my heart anyway, and I found myself on the brink of tears when God spoke to my heart. . .
It was like he said “Do you get it yet? You weren’t made depressed, you were made broken.”. God was expressing to me that part of his plan for me is for me to be soft-hearted, that when people tell me their stories, that I would feel the pain that they must be feeling. He showed me that I may have been attacked with depression because the enemy wants to blind me to the gift of God in my life.
The bible says “Therefore we Do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary struggles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4 16,17) But why does our trouble or struggle achieve glory? Is there something inherent in struggle that makes it glorious?
I think not.
I believe our struggles achieve glory because we struggle through the attacks where the enemy is suppressing God’s gift in us. We fight for the thing that brings him glory, which in turn wins us glory in his kingdom.